Green with envy and I'm neon

10/04/2005 07:24:00 AM Edit This 10 Comments »


I never thought that I had a jealous streak. I never had any idea of how possessive and potentially insecure I could be. It's actually quite scary how I get when I'm jealous.

I'm in a play; a low budget production that a friend of mine is doing for her theatre arts degree. I've helped her out before so I know ( or at least have an idea) of how she operates. My boyfriend, Mr. S, is in the play as well and is playing the lead male character. I am playing a less important character of a nosy, loquacious, bacchanalist neighbour (I'm really starting to worry about the casting and how I am being percieved because if this has anything to do with me personally I will definitely have to do some serious self-analsis). The female lead is played by someone I just met at last week's reading (she also has a significant other in the play).

Now, the play has alot of profanity and sexual overtone... it even involves a bit of touching and kissing in a bed onstage.. between the leads. So I guess you can understand my concern now. I would trust Mr. S with my life, especially after all of the things we have gone through. So I was surprised that I felt this way. Worried, panicky, insecure and well jealous. I really have no reason to, I know he wouldn't do anything plus I have the reassurance that the female lead's boyfriend will be there... so I can hope that she won't do anything but I don't know how deep their love goes.

What I am worried about, however, is the excessive amount of time they will be spending alone (well with the director) rehearsing. Because of the amount of scences that involve the two of them (usually arguing other times cuddling and *cringe* kissing), the director decided that she would call them in for private practices. THIS is what is irking me. I do NOT want to be the insecure girlfriend who pops up at rehearsals when she's not needed just to see what's going on. Though I am that insecure girlfriend (much to my dismay) I refuse to do it. Even during the readthrough I was cringing visibly and they were just reading. What the hell will happen when I actually see it. So for both my sanity and their physical well being, I shouldn't go.

Also, Mr. S and I are usually pretty busy so we don't get to see each other. A few weekday evenings for an hour or two and Saturdays ( which are now taken over by my classes and play rehearsal.) Mr.S is also in study mode now as he has a huge exam coming up, plus he works full time. So our time together will be cut significantly shorter when the director wants him on evenings for private rehearsals.

FUCK! I have no idea how to deal with this. Any suggestions?

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10 comments:

jayne d'Arcy said...

About ten years ago I was in a very similar situation. And, I'm 100% neon jealous. The best thing that you can do is let Mr. S. know your concerns. If he has any ounce of understanding for you, and compassion, he'll understand what you're going through. If you're not able to talk to him about this, then you have a bigger problem then jealousy. Communicate. It's the key.

Tish said...

Break his ass, then smash the other chicks face in, then decapitate the director for even thinking up that play!



Now that we've gotten some of the initial aggression out of the way, talk to him. Tell him why it's bothering you, how much you feel uncomfortable, and ask how he feels about doing those scenes in the play (important to get his side).

Then sort out a way so the both of you can be a bit more comfortable. Even if it means hanging out in the general area so you can keep your jealo- :S...I mean concern for his oral safety in check.

Plus you know he's devoted to you already, no play is going to make him feel any different. Think about actors who have to do it all the time and their partners. Hell there may even be a support group! If that does it do it, then be thankful that it's not a porn movie and he's the lead...:S. See, now it's getting it bit easier...right....right...^_^....right. lol smile kid !

And make me proud in the play!

If this message has mistakes...I didn't review it :S...sorry dey

Trouble said...

If your BF went out of his way to secure the leading role so he could get 'close' to the chick... That would be the only cause for concern.
Women worry over ALL the wrong things... Be more concerned about how YOU play it off, as that is more crucial... Some guys get off on a jealous GF, some find it irritating... Before you approach him, be sure you know which type he is...
You should voice your concern to him... #1 irritant to a guy is usually being expected to read your mind... If you say nothing, it will consume you... In private, tell him your concerns unemotionally, and then leave the ball in his court [he may go so far as to ask you if you want him to quit the part... Say 'yes' and you'll be sorry...]
'Stalk' him and it will only display insecurity, which is never attractive...
You are aware you spend little time together as it is... Work on increasing the quality and spontaneity of the time you share… This won’t affect the situation other than to bolster your own confidence in your relationship…
That failing, wrap her lifeless body in a sack and chains, and dump her in the nearest river…

Solace said...

Thanks for the advice guys. I forgot to mention that I did indeed speak to him on the night of the rehearsals. He said that I have nothing to worry about and I believe him. He has never given me a reason not to.

What I am worried about is (as Trouble said) how I will act about it. I know for a fact that I will not be appearing at rehearsals and staking my claim. I just hope when the time comes for me to witness the kiss I won't slit someone's jugular vein. LOL.

Thanks Faun, Tishie and Trouble for your input.

Shotta M said...

Sound like you already got a lot of advice. A little jealousy is a good thing - it lets you know that you value your significant other.

Stunner said...

Give hime something to let him know what he has.

ZackMisota said...

My Suggestion is you stop being such a little dick hole for nothing! and get a mother cunt life nah

Mad Bull said...

Doh worry, you safe. As Sir T. says, just play it cool, communicate, etc. Leave the rough stuff for last.

Syed Siddique Sharaf said...

the best way out is communication. In such situations its best to convey yours fears, nomatter how stupid they are, to ur partner. The common mistake that most do is to 'pass hints' about the concerns to partners but that is not only ineffective but also fraughted with frustrations if the partner doesn't get the hints.
So the best is to directly and boldly talk ;)

Anonymous said...

ok ok ok, i know this is old and everything but, here's what to do... i say for you and your boyfriend to forget the stupid play and let him do his studies and work... because some stupid silly play is not comming in the way of your relationship... especially, if it is containing kissing and bed talk with another female... tell you and him to forget it, it's not worth your energy and emotion.