I may be skitzophrenic but at least I have each other.

7/30/2005 10:13:00 AM Edit This 0 Comments »

Ladies and Gentlemen.... I have come to the conclusion that I am crazed as hell. Being the Mad Scientist of self-analysis and countless hours of research on what was wrong with me, I have compiled a list of very possible neuroses that I may be afflicted with.

But if I write them all out today this entry will be WAAAAAY too long. So I hereby dub every Saturday from now on: Skitzo Saturday.

(1) Bi- Polar Disorder:

Bipolar disorder (also known as manic depression) is a treatable illness marked by extreme changes in mood, thought, energy and behavior. It is not a character flaw or a sign of personal weakness. Bipolar disorder is also known as manic depression because a person's mood can alternate between the "poles" mania (highs) and depression (lows). This change in mood or "mood swing" can last for hours, days weeks or months.

Some symptoms for Mania:
  • Increased physical and mental activity and energy (this happens once in a blue moon considering that most of the time my brain cells are not in functional condition)
  • Heightened mood, exaggerated optimism and self-confidence (I'm the only person that seems to think that I'm a celebrity)
  • Excessive irritability, aggressive behavior ( yeah, I can be a bitch sometimes.)
  • Decreased need for sleep without experiencing fatigue (What is this word...sleep?)
  • Grandiose delusions, inflated sense of self-importance (*scoffs* I already said I'm a star)
  • Racing speech, racing thoughts, flight of ideas. (whatthefuckareyoutalkingabout....I E-NUN-CI-ATE!!!!)
  • Impulsiveness, poor judgment, distractibility (I like being Im- OOOOOH cute rabid dog..Come here, Foamy, come here)
  • Reckless behavior (see above)
  • In the most severe cases, delusions and hallucinations ( I thought this had to do with me being High all the time.)

Well I've already been diagnosed with the depression part by a real psychologist. But we'll go through it just for the hell of it.

  • Prolonged sadness or unexplained crying spells ( What do you mean I already saw that movie?... *waaaaaaaaahhhhhh*)
  • Significant changes in appetite and sleep patterns ( Monday: Food is for wusses, Wednesday: *GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE* *BURP*)
  • Irritability, anger, worry, agitation, anxiety (.....let's not go there)
  • Pessimism, indifference (Life sucks...but who cares)
  • Loss of energy, persistent lethargy (Press the button on the remote will ya, yeah, the one in my hand.)
  • Feelings of guilt, worthlessness
  • Inability to concentrate, indecisiveness
  • Inability to take pleasure in former interests, social withdrawal ( look... people are weird. Nuff said)
  • Unexplained aches and pains (that's funny, I thought I had an orgy in my sleep... this is a lot less adventurous)
  • Recurring thoughts of death or suicide ( yeah, well. I'm too much of a coward to inflict pain anyway)

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