5/04/2005 02:21:00 PM Edit This 0 Comments »

*sigh* Life is alot more precious than I realised. I think i have reached that point in life where everything bad that can happen.. will happen. A guy from my secondary school died this morning in an accident. I never got the chance to know him even though I had the biggest crush on him in Form 1. I wasted time. And didn't realise what could be possible.

I have the worst headache right now. I am tired and mentally exhausted. I feel ill. So many things going on in my head right now. Is it worth taking that chance? Can I? Do I have the testicular fortitide? lol. *sigh* I'll have to wait and see. I'm not sure of anything right now.

I need peace. I need a place I can go and just not think about anything. I want to move out of my house. But I will never leave my mother behind. I can't. But I need to live my own life. I need time to think with a clear mind. No psychological noise. Just quiet.... Solace... Solititude.

I miss everything about last year. It was a great year despite little upsets. I was free. I was me. I wasn't this... thing I don't recognise anymore. I look in the mirror and see nothing sometimes. Just a face.. Belonging to no one. A deceptive face that makes me THINK I am me. It lies to me. Soft coercion into believing falsities. *sigh*

I don't know. I really don't know what's going on. Who am I? I was so sure a few months ago. What the hell happened?

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